The Kingdom Razed by Dragons Page 22

  “Oh,” Mr. Skelly said. “Alice said she really wanted to go though. You don’t want to accompany your party member?”

  “Alice did?” Tafel asked while blinking. Her brow furrowed as she lowered her head. “Well, if she really wants to … I guess I can delay this a bit.” She raised her head. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

  “Excellent.”

  18

  “Fire elementals!” Stella said, throwing her hands into the air. “I want to see the fire elementals.”

  “And what do you think about that?” E glanced at Vur. After they had finished their negotiations, the dwarf king had asked Vur what he wanted to do. And Stella had answered before he could speak.

  “Let’s go see the fire elementals then,” Vur said with a nod while Stella cheered again.

  E furrowed his brow. “Why does it seem like the fairy makes all the decisions?” he asked. “Do you not have anything you want to do for yourself?”

  Vur shook his head. “As long as my friends are happy, I’m happy,” he said. “If Stella wants to see the fire elementals, then I want to see them too.”

  “Really?” E asked as Stella flew down from Vur’s head and hugged the dragon-boy’s face. “You’re fine with that? Someone who’s strong enough to tame a mountain elemental has such low aspirations. You’re just like me.” E paused as Vur plucked Stella off his face and put her back on his head. “Then did the fairy want you to become king of the dwarves?”

  “Her name’s Stella; stop calling her the fairy,” Vur said. “But no, I conquered your people because of the dragons’ code of honor. My uncle failed to conquer the dwarves since they ran away, so I finished the job.” He nodded as E tilted his head.

  “What do you mean dragons’ code of honor and uncle?” E asked. “You make it sound like your uncle is a dragon. It must be a miscommunication since your manner of speech is a bit archaic.”

  “No miscommunications,” Vur said, shaking his head. “My uncle’s Grimmoldesser. I’m a dragon, but I don’t have my wings yet.” He raised his head to meet Stella’s gaze. “If I make a contract with a fire elemental, I’ll grow faster, right?”

  Diamant’s voice spoke up from the runes on Vur’s arm, “I’m not sure there’s enough space for another—”

  “Yup!” Stella said, her voice piercing through Diamant’s. “You’ll grow super-duper fast with another elemental contracted to you. You can definitely get at least three more.”

  “Wait,” E said. “Did you say Grimmoldesser, the cursed black dragon from our legends, that Grimmoldesser?”

  Vur nodded. “It’s most likely him.”

  “And … you’re a dragon?” E asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Vur nodded again.

  E stared at Vur for a few seconds before sighing. He shrugged and shook his head. “Well, my intuition’s never failed me before,” he said. “I’ll trust it again this time. I think it’ll be a hassle to explain to everyone else though. Telling them I’m no longer king was going to be difficult enough. Ah, I thought my life was supposed to be more relaxing now that I’m no longer king.”

  “Why can’t everyone be as carefree as him?” Stella asked, tilting her head to the side. “Alice had such a huge reaction. But it’s a bit sad there wasn’t even a gasp coming from his mouth.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head.

  “Grimmoldesser…,” E muttered. His eyes widened. “Ah! That black dragon that invaded Plumby’s capital. Was that him?”

  Vur shrugged. “Do you have a mana-image-but-not-really image of the dragon?”

  “A picture? No,” E said. “But shouldn’t you know where your uncle is?”

  “Do you know where your uncles are?” Vur asked.

  “No…,” E said. “But they aren’t people that can destroy towns on a whim.”

  “If I had to keep track of everyone I knew that could destroy a town on a whim,” Vur said, rubbing his chin, “then I’d never have time to do anything else.” He nodded. “Besides, Auntie does that for me.”

  “Let me guess,” E said, rolling his eyes, “this aunt of yours is Grimmoldesser’s mate.”

  Vur scratched his head. “I’m not sure actually,” he said. “But she’s not a dragon. She’s an elf. Mostly.”

  E stared at Vur. “Out of curiosity,” he asked. “What is Stella to you?”

  “She’s—”

  “He’s my dad!” Stella said, her voice cutting through Vur’s. “He gave birth to me with the flower in his chest.” She nodded and patted Vur’s head. “Isn’t that right?”

  “But you planted it there,” Vur said.

  “No, no, no,” Stella said, shaking her head. “That was my past self. It doesn’t count.”

  Vur turned his gaze back onto E. “She’s not my daughter, but—”

  “Wow! Rude! I’m going to cry,” Stella said and puffed her cheeks out.

  “I do have a son,” Vur finished.

  E chewed on his lower lip. “Is he a dragon?”

  “No, he’s a boar,” Vur said. A wrinkle formed on his brow as Stella pouted and plucked one of his hairs.

  “A boar,” E said, his expression neutral. “Then your wife’s—”

  “A demon,” Vur said with a nod.

  E sighed. “I don’t know if you’re serious or not,” he said. “But I suppose that doesn’t really matter, does it?”

  “Dragons never lie,” Vur said. “And you might meet my wife, so you should know in advance—she has horns; if you look at her strangely, I’ll punt you.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” E said. He glanced at the fairy throwing a tantrum on Vur’s head. “You said you wanted to see the fire elementals, right? I can take you to their main headquarters—benefits of being king, well, ex-king. Why do you want to see them?”

  Stella stopped rolling around and sat up. “I need a sun.”

  “I thought fairies only had daughters?” E asked.

  “A sun, not a son! Dummy,” Stella said and stuck her tongue out. She crossed her arms, wrinkled her nose, and looked away.

  E raised an eyebrow. “…You mean a boar?”

  “I’m going to curse you,” Stella said.

  “I think I’ll keep my mouth shut about relationships until I see your family tree,” E said to Vur.

  Vur nodded. “It’s only a sprout right now, but it’ll grow in time.”

  E scratched his head. Are we talking about the same thing? “I don’t know what to think anymore.” He sighed. “Forget it. I’ll take you to the fire elementals.”

  Vur nodded and followed after E while preventing Stella from tugging on his hair. “Why do you want a sun?” he asked, glancing up at the fairy queen.

  Stella pouted and crossed her arms, keeping silent. She squealed when Vur tickled her side with his finger, and she smacked away his digit. “Stop that!” she said and pouted even harder. “Plants need sunlight to grow. Duh.”

  “But you’re a fairy,” Vur said, ignoring the dwarves who were staring at him. The palace maids and butlers were gawking as E walked past them.

  “I know I’m a fairy,” Stella said with a nod. She frowned at the workers and shook her fist at them. “What are you staring at? Never seen a fairy before?”

  The dwarves glanced at Stella, and one maid spoke up. “No, no,” she said and fanned her face with her hands. “We’ve seen lots of fairies before. It’s just that … the king. He’s not sleeping inside the throne room. Is the world coming to an end?”

  “Hey,” E said and snorted. “You don’t have to compare my leaving my bed to the end of times. Also, I’m not king anymore.” He pointed at Vur. “He is. Spread the word for me, thanks.”

  Vur nodded at the stunned dwarves while continuing to follow behind E. “My name’s Vur Besteck. I’m your new king.”

  “But, but you’re a human,” the maid said, her eyes as wide as saucers. “Your Gloriousness, this is not a tasteful joke.”

  “It’s not a joke,” E said. “I’m 100% serious. He’s your new king. Just think of
him as a really tall dwarf if you can’t fathom a human ruler.” He clicked his tongue. “If only Zappy were here, then I could make him announce a formal coronation ceremony.” He pointed at a grizzled dwarf butler standing by a suit of white armor. “You can do it. Announce a grand assembly; everyone important must attend. It’ll take place five weeks from now.”

  “Yes, Your ex-Gloriousness,” the old dwarf said and saluted.

  As E and Vur continued out of the palace, Stella tilted her head and peered at Vur’s arm. “Why are you moving around so much, Deedee?” she asked. “You’re tickling my roots.”

  “I’m astounded,” Diamant said. “Absolutely astounded. Vur went from a criminal dwarf punter to the king of the dwarves without any issues: no blood was shed, no money was involved, the dwarf king peacefully handed over the throne. Is this what humanoids call dreaming? I think I’m beginning to understand why they shut their bodies down to sleep.”

  “No,” Stella said and shook her head. The tattoo roots on Vur’s arm wriggled, forcing the brown runes down. “This isn’t dreaming. This is just a normal day in the life of Vur.”

  “I don’t want to know what an abnormal day is like,” E said with a shudder. “And it’s a shame you only became king now. I just realized you missed the annual assembly. Well, the dwarf king hasn’t attended it in over a decade, but it would’ve been a good way to let the continent know of your new position.”

  “Weren’t you the dwarf king for the last decade?” Diamant asked.

  E nodded. “And I haven’t attended. Why would I go out of my way to do that when I have twelve trusted commanders beneath me?” He glanced at Vur, who was admiring the paintings on the walls. Nearly all of them were blueprints, but there were the occasional pictures of a dwarf wearing a crown. “I should introduce you to my commanders. They’ll help you rule the kingdom more efficiently.”

  “No need,” Vur said and shook his head. “I appoint you as my advisor. Feel free to run my kingdom however you see fit … until I reunite with my wife, that is. She might want to take over.” He snorted. “She usually doesn’t like my policies. What’s wrong with free money day? Everyone likes money.”

  “Your wife has my condolences,” E said. The palace doors were opened by a set of floating armor, bathing the hallway with sunlight. The dwarf king squinted and pointed at a clearing in the garden which was lined with bricks. Dozens of carriages were parked side by side. “Do you want to guess which car is mine?”

  Vur scratched his head as the group approached the parking lot. “That one,” he said and pointed at the plainest car in sight.

  “It’s obviously that one,” Stella said and pointed at a black car with fireballs painted on its sides.

  “Judging by your personality,” Diamant’s voice rumbled. “It’s the one that looks like a cloud.”

  E clapped his hands once. “You’re all right!” he said and smiled. “All of these cars are mine.” If he was as tall as Vur, he would’ve patted his shoulder, but since he wasn’t, E patted Vur’s thigh instead. “Like I said back at your place, I’m gifting you a car. You can have any that catches your eye. Of course, this is temporary until a flying one is invented.”

  Vur rubbed his chin. “Well, Tafel’s favorite color is purple,” he said. He pointed at the only purple car in the parking lot. “I’ll take that one.”

  “Alright,” E said with a nod. He walked over to the palace wall beside the parking lot and retrieved a key that was hanging on a hook before tossing it to Vur. “I’ll teach you how to drive it on the way to the fire elementals’ headquarters. They live in a volcano about two weeks away if we drive at a moderate pace. I think their leader is a volcano spirit, but I can’t remember the guy’s name.”

  “His name is Az,” Diamant said. “You’re talking about the clan master of the Flaming Fire Flickers, correct?”

  “That alliteration sounds right,” E said.

  “Good,” Diamant said. “It wouldn’t be fair if I was the only one who had to suffer under Vur’s hands.” The mountain elemental paused. “If Vur becomes the clan master of the Flaming Fire Flickers too, does that mean the Gemstone Merchants will merge with them?”

  “You can rename yourselves to the Flaming Gemstone Fire Merchants Flickers Clan!” Stella said, throwing her hands into the air.

  E glanced at Vur. “It seems like your commander also enjoys horrifically long names.”

  Vur shrugged. When had Stella become his commander?

  E shook his head and climbed aboard the car, patting the driver seat beside him. “Put the key in the ignition and give it a gentle twist,” he said, gesturing towards the dashboard in front of him.

  Vur sat down while Stella peered at the wheel as he stuck the key inside. The car roared to life when he turned the key. He nodded at E. “Now what?”

  “Now you adjust the three mirrors so you have vision of your surroundings,” E said. “Then you wiggle this stick over here, called the shifter, to switch from unmoving to moving forward to moving backwards and finally to moving forward extremely fast.”

  Stella glanced at the shifter and tilted her head. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to put the moving forward extremely fast before the moving backwards?” she asked, frowning at the letters drawn onto the car.

  “Yes, it would,” E said, “but there’s some technical difficulties. If you switch from moving forward to moving forward extremely fast without placing it into reverse first, there’s a high probability of the engine exploding. We’re not sure why putting it after reverse lowers the explosion rate, but hey, it works, so that’s the way it has to be.”

  “How do I make it move?” Vur asked as he played around with the shifter.

  “The right pedal makes it move. The left pedal makes it stop,” E said. “You’ll get used to it. Try to reverse out of this parking lot and onto the road. Spinning the wheel left makes the car move left and vice versa.”

  “What’s this button?” Stella asked, pointing at a big red button located above the shifter.

  “That activates the cannons,” E said. “Don’t touch it.”

  “Oh,” Stella said and nodded even though she didn’t know what a cannon was. “Maybe you shouldn’t put it in such a touchable place, and you should make it look less pressable.”

  “That’s what I told Plumby,” E said. “He said the bright-red color was enough to act as a deterrent.”

  Stella scratched her head as the car lurched out of the parking lot. “Plumby sounds dumb.”

  “He designed the car,” E said. “Some people are smart in some ways but stupid in others. A good leader might not make a good cook. A great engineer might not be a good user interface designer. That’s why it’s important to delegate roles to those who are capable.”

  “But you didn’t delegate any user interface designers to help Plumby,” Stella said and furrowed her brow.

  “And some people are just a complete nightmare to work with, but they’re so good at their jobs that they don’t get fired,” E said. “That’s Plumby.” He glanced at Vur, who was maneuvering the car around a corner to head towards the main road. “You’re doing great for someone who’s never driven before.”

  Vur nodded. “It’s like driving Willy,” he said. Once he made it out of the palace, he moved the shifter down to moving forward extremely fast and pressed the gas pedal all the way to the floor of the car.

  E’s eyes widened as he was forced back into his seat. Wind blew past, causing his hair to fly wildly, and Stella had to grab onto Vur’s ear to prevent herself from being blown away. “Slow down!” E shouted as he inched closer to the center of the car. “Why are you going so fast!?”

  “Fast?” Vur asked and turned his head, his foot still pressed on the gas pedal. “This feels pretty slow.”

  “Keep your eyes on the road!” E shouted. “And take your foot off the pedal!”

  Vur snorted and lifted his foot. The car slowed down, and E spat a bug out of his mouth while fixing his hair. “I just re
alized a few crucial features that the car’s lacking,” the dwarf king said. “There has to be something to tether us to the seat, so we don’t fall out in case you swerve while going that fast. Maybe I’ll call it a seatbelt? And we need something to shield us from the wind and bugs; otherwise, it’d be too difficult to keep our eyes open. Something to shield us from the wind…, let’s call it a windshield.”

  Vur sighed as the car puttered along. “Why did you want me to slow down?”

  “Because I don’t want to die,” E said. “And what do you mean it’s like driving Willy? You have something similar where you’re from?”

  “Willy’s my pet spider,” Stella said. Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with both her hands before glancing at Vur. “Err, Vur’s pet spider. I know because he said so in his sleep once.” She nodded twice before hiding inside Vur’s hair.

  “Willy’s a pet, but he’s big,” Vur said. “Bigger than this car. He moves much faster too.” He pressed the gas pedal all the way down, causing the car to speed up again. A golden aura appeared over his eyes to help him see despite the wind blowing into his face.

  “I thought you were going to drive slower!” E shouted as he squinted and shrank into his seat.

  “No,” Vur said and shook his head. “There’s an easier solution. If you die, I’ll revive you. Now you don’t have to worry, right?”

  “No!” E said. “That’s not how it works!”

  “Just trust me,” Vur said and rolled his eyes. “What does your intuition say?”

  “It says you shouldn’t drive!”

  Vur snorted and glanced up. There was a sign to his right that had names and distances written on them. “Those signs are convenient,” he said as it blurred past. “I should put some up in the sky back home.”

  E lowered himself further into his seat. “Just follow the signs to Mt. Inesia,” he said. “Please don’t crash into anything.” He let out a whimper. “Am I the only one who’s frightened of how fast Vur’s going?”